dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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