I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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