Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
