as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
