so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
