I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
