Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
