If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
