Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
