Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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