I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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