epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
