I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
