Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
