Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
