hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
