U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize