Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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