It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
