just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
