New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
