I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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