if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize