Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
