Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
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He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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