Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
