If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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