But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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