but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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