I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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