remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
