I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
