Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!