me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize