He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
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he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize