Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
