Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
