dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
