her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
