I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
