I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize