It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
