And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
So vagazzling was a success
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
