People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
