Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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