I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I cut my penus on the lid.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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