As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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