So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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