Non-Jews are for practice
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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