If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
