some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
two words: eviction party
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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