My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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