Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
