He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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