What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
