I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i out mim tonsoeep
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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