Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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