I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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