In the future we'll all be gay
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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