you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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